Joke- Efficiency

An expert on efficiency concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

“You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.”

“Why?” asked somebody from the audience.

“I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained.

“She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, 

often carrying a single item at a time.

One day I told her, ’Honey, why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’”

“Did it save time?” the guy in the audience asked.

“Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take her 30 minutes to make

 breakfast. Now it takes me 10.”

Idioms- "Saddled with debt..."

Across the Board - this refers to everything or everyone. This idiom is used to say that nothing or nobody would be exempted.

Example: The union wants a salary increase across the board. It wants a raise in the compensations of rank-and-file employees, supervisors, and managers.

Strike While the Iron is Hot - to seize a present opportunity that may easily go away. It means to take advantage of an existing chance.

Example: The executives decided to strike while the iron is hot and bought into the fast-growing and progressive start-up company quickly.

Saddled with Debt - when people are burdened with huge debt.

Example: Saddled with debt, the bank filed for bankruptcy and for protection against debt collectors.

Calculated Risk - a risk or an action that has been well studied and is thought to have high chances of resulting in success.

Example: We were taking a calculated risk when we decided to invest in stocks rather than in bonds. We felt that stocks investments, while risky, would give us high returns in the future.

Heads will Roll - it means that someone or some people will be punished.

Example: Heads will roll when media people learn about this multi-million-dollar fraud.

Joke- Two electrons...

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ’I think I’ve lost an electron.’

The other says ’Are you sure?’

The first says, ’Yes, I’m positive.’!

Quote- clear conscience

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.  Mark Twain 

Buzzwords: Advertainment

 "Advertising is no longer about interrupting

 what people are interested in, it's about being what people

 are interested in."

Quote- Meetings

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.  

Grammar- Modals- deduction (past)

Have + past participle (‘have done’, ‘have been’, ‘have stolen’ etc.) is called the perfect infinitive. When we use modal verbs to talk about the present they are followed by an infinitive without ‘to’. When we use modal verbs to talk about the past they are followed by a perfect infinitive.

must + perfect infinitive

We use must + perfect infinitive when we feel sure about something in the past.

• ·        You must have been delighted when you found that everything was on sale. 
• ·         The thieves must have come in through the window. Look – it’s still open.
• ·         Oh no! Where’s my car? Someone must have stolen it!

might/may/could + perfect infinitive

We use might, may or could with the perfect infinitive to say that we think something was possible but we aren’t sure.

• ·         The thieves might have escaped by car but we can’t be sure.
• ·         He should be hour by now. He may have been delayed by a traffic jam or                         something.
• ·         I can’t find my purse. I could have left it in the supermarket but I just don’t know.

can’t + perfect infinitive

We use can’t + perfect infinitive when we feel sure something didn’t happen in the past.

• ·         I thought I saw John in town this morning but it can’t have been him – he’s in                     Greece this week.
• ·         I can’t have left it in the supermarket – I had it on the bus on the way home.
• ·         You can’t have read the instructions properly. They’re perfectly clear.

Joke- Time Off

Two men working in a factory were talking. “I know how to get some time off,” said one.

“How are you going to do that?”

“Watch,” he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied ”I’m a lightbulb.”

“I think you need some time off,” the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the foreman shouted.

“I can’t work in the dark,” he said.

Idiom - to put your foot in your mouth

'to put your foot in your mouth' or 'to put your foot in it'

means to say something by accident which embarrasses or upsets someone.

Quote - success

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried” 

- Susan Ohanian

Unusual facts - Weird Laws from around the World— Part 1

People do strange things, therefore weird laws are written to help straighten them out - they were  created for a reason. Some of these laws date back several hundred years and were never changed or eliminated and make very little sense in today’s world, but nonetheless these weird laws found all around world do exist.

 

In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found.

In York (GB) it is LEGAL to kill a Scotsman within the ancient city boundary, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

In Los Angeles it is illegal for a waiter to tell a customer “I’m really an actor”.

In England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen upside down.

In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday

In Chico, California, the law states that anybody who detonates a nuclear device within the city limits is liable to a fine of $500.

In Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude.

In California it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.

In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

In France, it is against the law to sell an “E.T” doll. They have a law forbidding the sale of dolls that do not have human faces.

In Mohave County, Arizona, if anyone is caught stealing soap, he must wash himself with it until the soap is gone.

In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping.

In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is: Death.

 In Danville, Pennsylvania, all fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.

In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.

According to Minneapolis law, a person who double parks a car will be put on a chain gang with only bread and water to eat.